Failure Isn't The End of the Road!
- Nov 16, 2019
- 2 min read
I just turned 51 last week and it never ceases to amaze me that no matter how old I get, every day I learn a new life lesson.
The most recent lesson that I have learned is that no matter how much some one calls them self your "friend", all you have to do is piss them off and they will do whatever they can to throw a hardship in your face.
I spent a good portion of my 40's completely isolated from having friends because I had experienced so many "plastic people" and one sided relationships in my 30's that I was just done with people all together.
In 2013, I had left my alcoholic husband and started a new life for myself in NH. By the end of 2014 I had created a circle of people that I insulated myself with. I found a new love, I had a best friend that I thought would always be a part of my life. I had girlfriends for the first time in over 10 years. I had a self created family structure that I felt safe with. I trusted these people.
By the end of 2018 that circle got smaller. Some people strengthened their links in the chain of the circle. Others shattered their links; never to be able to rebuild their place within the circle. I was alone in GA, widowed for the second time; unmarried for the first time in 18 years. Now what?
The end result is that I am right back to where I was in 2008 when I decided that allowing others and their opinions to shape the course of my journey has to stop!
Conforming to the outside judgment of others had gotten me nowhere fast. To this point, I have had a horrible relationship with time. I had never been afraid to jump and then laugh while I was doing it. Fear had not been a factor for me. I had always been just the opposite. I will jump when others would tuck tail and run.
My problem is that I try so many things with full gusto that when they all fail, I get to a point where I get complacent and I will take what is available. The lesser of evils; if you will. This gives me time to power down, regroup and recharge. Then, once I'm back to 100% power, I will snap out of it and burst back re-energized.
This usually occurs when I get sick of living to pay bills for things that I never get to enjoy because all I do is work to make the money to complete the cycle.
Nobody has ever been thrilled by playing it safe. If you are always playing it safe, there's a pretty high probability that you're not doing anything important.
So, I had to realize that failure wasn't the end of the road. Failure was actually the beginning of the next road for me to go down. That road starts right outside my front door here in the armpit of the world in Georgia and where it will lead I don't know. But, I do that this is not the end of my road!
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